People say, therapy is a process. However, this is misleading. It would be like saying a good meal is following a recipe. It glosses over the individual following the recipe or, more importantly, the taste of those having the meal. Similarly, good therapy isn’t just a process, nor a particular theory. Like a good meal, determining whether therapy will be beneficial, you need to feel the therapist you’re considering is a good match with who you are, and you can relate to each other.
Before researching credentials, theoretical approaches, and pedigrees, ask yourself: Do feel comfortable, understood, and actually like the therapist? Do they get you? What you’re coming to them for? Do you feel they’re competent? Answering these will tell you a lot. For every yes, you also increase the likelihood that you’ll benefit from the experience. Isn’t easier talking about personal things with someone you feel comfortable with and like?
Yes! Research studies have proven repeatedly that no approach to doing therapy is more effective than another. But the quality of your relationship with your therapist is.
Working with Me
I try to remain real with you, informal, active and yet collaboratively. I understand by listening, and asking questions, to make sure I am actually understanding, and getting your point of view. I provide assistance, focused attention, a professional perspective, and where it’s relevant and appropriate, draw from personal examples, in looking at areas of your life, with openness, enthusiasm, and encouragement. Because of this I make an effort for us to have a familiar, yet professional relationship.
I’ve been told therapists are paid to listen to people’s problems and, to be fair, they do to a degree, but constructively, to point out and help you recognize your available and potential capabilities. Very few, if any of us, don’t have difficulties in areas of our lives, but the same can be said for strengths. How we see these, ourselves, or the ways we relate to others, may have been the influenced of equally difficult or painful experiences or events in our childhood, even a mean joke a parent would continually make, whether or not we told him not to. Having had these or similar experiences, prevented an opportunity to develop important strengths we needed to develop then, yet still need to when meeting similar difficulties challenging us today. The difference now is that we determine the skills we need to develop to address our challenges not those our parent’s, or others. Thinking we should simply let things go, doesn’t resolve the loss of not developing an ability, recognizing the abilities we still need to develop to overcome our current challenges and developing these will.
What Therapy Can Help You With
Therapy can benefit many areas of your life, whether general, having more confidence, or more specific, like managing or getting out of a depression. It might be maintaining your sense of self in personal or professional relationships, specifically understanding how to set boundaries, defining and distinguishing your needs from others and how to communicate these in casual or committed relationships. For a man, dealing with and improving performance anxiety. For couple the focus may be developing open, productive, intimate, communication, specifically talking about the difficult, big picture things, like sex, marriage, having children, finances, or household responsibilities. But also more immediate, critical crisis, infidelity, separation, or divorce, developing and improving co-parent’s relationship.
I encourage anyone to try therapy, yet I also recognize it may not be right for everyone. Yet because you’re reading this, you’re probably interested in trying it, and I’d like you to feel you can go into the experience openly. We can discuss whether therapy is right for you, and can realistically provide benefits. Based on what you tell me, we can walk through what directions we might go in. I’m happy to answer questions you have related to you, therapy, or based on my professional experience. If I’m not a good fit, I’m also happy to offer referrals to other therapists whose work I know and respect. This is your choice after all.